The most important educational activity that we can do with our child is talking to them. Do we talk to our child? I am not saying that we should advice or exhort them. Instead we have to shift ourselves from a Telling mode to a Talking mode. We don’t have to become a teller; but we need to talk to them.
There is a variety of topics. For example, there is a topic; needs and wants. How much did we discuss needs and wants with our child? What are needs and what are wants. Wants can be good or bad. In which we follow our wants or in which we understand our needs and limit them? Which lifestyle is better? Moreover, we don’t do discussions on Namaz (Islamic Prayer), which is as important as we do the same activity five times a day. We don’t hold discussions on Surah Fatiha. Surah Fatiha’s recitation is obligatory on every Muslim at least 17 times (every day in their prayers). This is the total number of Farz units (in prayers). No discussion is done on Surah Fatiha. No discussion is ever hold on Namaz.
For us, educating about Namaz means introducing its methodology. That’s it. We people have this limited understanding. Education on Namaz is not limited to its methodology. We should continue to educate on Namaz until it becomes the experience of meeting (with Allah). Keep doing discussion on Namaz. Even for your own self. Ask yourself: has my Namaz become the process of meeting with my Lord? If not, then I need to educate myself more on Namaz. Education on Namaz is not limited to its methodology. It’s not only related to physical steps. It’s the involvement of both heart and mind. We don’t do discussion on this. We don’t have discussions on beauty and fashion also.
It’s a complete sense. May I ask you when did the last time you had such a discussion?
A lady told me: My son has started watching movies and he wants to discuss movies. So I asked her: What you say? She said: I don’t give permission at all. So I asked her: Will he watch then?
She said: He still watches them elsewhere.
So I said: If he’s still watching then at least sit once and discuss with him what he wants. Because all that stuff has already entered in his mind. Now sit and discuss with your child. When you would discuss, you will find out what he’s actually watching. Talking is very important. Most important educational activity you can do with someone is talking.
Secondly, the biggest educational opportunity in our child’s life is when a question comes in his mind. When he questions, we shouldn’t mind that. We should smile. The problem is that we say: Your questions never end. You don’t know anything except questioning. I’m fed up with your questions.
In short, we should focus on talking to our child rather than always advising and instructing what to do or not. It will help us to understand our child and their also increase their confidence. There are some ideas to listen and talk to your child:
Let your child finish talking and then respond.
Use language and ideas that your child will understand.
Avoid criticism and blame.
Be a good role model.